Never underestimate a woman who understands tennis and loves Rafael Nadal signature shirt

 I used to think that all I needed to do to be lovable was to become better. I told myself once I sort out my hair it will be different, once that article goes up on the Never underestimate a woman who understands tennis and loves Rafael Nadal signature shirt Apart from…,I will love this internet, once I buy that corset. But I’ve done all of those things and people still look at me and walk away. It makes me feel like giving up, because what’s the point in being better if no one notices it I didn’t take my make-up off when I got back home, didn’t go to the gym for a while, didn’t read anything just watched my favorite vloggers buying furniture for their new house. Most nights I fell asleep at a.m. A few nights later, I was on the dance floor of a club and disco lights were spotting over my face like I was moving through the solar system and a song played that everyone else seemed to like but I had never heard of, and despite my smile I felt sadness crash over me like a big wave. I dragged one of my friends out to the smoking area and told her how defeated I was feeling. How I wasn’t sure what more I could do. How knowing that makes me feel hopeless. She said things that would normally make me feel better that the men inside right now are probably intimidated by me and the rest I wouldn’t look at. But I’ve sunk too low for that this time, so she tries to help me see what the truth looks like. That all these changes I’ve made should never mean more just because someone else notices them, but because I notice them. Because they make me look in the mirror and think, Fuck, my hair looks fantastic, walk back from the gym fuzzing with endorphins and wondering how the hell I managed to lift that weight. And unfortunately, when I finally love myself enough not to need so much of it from other people, because the universe is a bitch, that will be when someone’s Drink on Thursday does actually mean a date, and when they ask me to the movies the week after they will actually turn up, and when they say they haven’t felt like this in ages they will actually mean it.

Never underestimate a woman who understands tennis and loves Rafael Nadal signature shirt

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